Women:
Men don't change. And when you force them to, then they become something less, something far less attractive, something that they don't want to know and you sure as hell don't either.
Greatness, that which attracts you to us, in whatever form, requires confidence, it requires drive and determination. All of these traits are counter to change. Don't get me wrong, men evolve, we even refine ourselves over time, but we do not change. We're not likely (unless we happen to be metro-sexuals, or having a mid-life crisis (but I'll get to that in a second)) to just up and change our hair color, or buy a pink suit. Why? Because the greatness inside of us that atrracts you so, requires that we believe in who we are, it requires that we are happy with what we are, and believe that we are right. Men that constantly second-guess themselves are not attractive. If they were, Joe-accountant would have groupies. He doesn't, and it's for a reason.
For all of you women that get attracted to the greatness inside of men and then attempt to change the man. Don't. Stop. Think carefully. You don't want us to be mini-van driving dads with no edge, no purpose other than to farry the kids around. You want a man that can be a role model for your children, show them greatness, be a father that your children and yourself can respect. He might decide to drive a mini-van, but don't take away the other things that make him great. Certainly don't take the fuel away that makes his eyes burn with conviction and drive. There is only one result. You'll stop loving him, and he'll have a midlife crisis and run off with a 20 something woman that is awed by an older man and covets that which made him great, and won't try to change him, at least until she marries him, and then it will start all over again.
Don't domesticate him. Take him for who he is. Have confidence that he will continually improve himself, his way. If you can't have this confidence in him, then you're with the wrong man. Build-a-man is no man at all.
And for my ex-girlfriends that insist on leaving because I refuse to change, and then come back every 6 months wanting to get back together: Learn from this. If you haven't figured this out, and I haven't changed, then there is no reason for you to call and want to get back together. I will not give up that which makes me great for anyone, espeically not the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Because if I did, then I would be dooming that relationship to failure anyway.
Love is earned not given. (makes sense considering it is the highest form of respect) If you take away the tools that allow him to earn your love, then how could you ever possibly love him? The same goes for men btw. Women have to earn your love too, don't take away what allows them to do that. And yes, that's an ongoing earning of love. Love is payment for your hard work and determination. It is payment for your greatness. You can't earn it, get married and stop. If you want a relationship to work, you have to earn your partner's love every day. Some days you'll fail, but if you generally succeed, your relationship will last a life time.